One of the things I love about MOPS is that the only “requirement” to belong to the group is that you should be a mom of a preschooler(s).  It’s not often these days that it is so easy to fit in with a group and I thank God for the simplicity of MOPS requirements.  I know, I know there is nothing simple about being the mother of one or more preschoolers, but you know what I mean.

Each year has been as unique as the group of women God brings together.  I have seen God’s hand at work in this group and it is never an accident as to who shows up each year.  God always brings the moms who need to be here and stirs the hearts of moms to rise as leaders.  Each year the group grows more and more in number but still has the feeling of an intimate group.  I think that is very special and very important.  Tea and testimony is evidence of how genuine this ministry is.

This year has been no exception when it comes to growth.  I am so pleased that the church has come along to help provide financial support for this wonderful ministry.  This makes it easier for more moms to participate.   That is no accident but is a huge answer to prayer.  I know some of the moms who, years ago,  started the MOPS group that meets at FBC.  One of the moms, Suzanne, was so excited when I told her about the church providing more financial help.  She told me that she had still been praying about that all of these year.

Isn’t it wonderful to know that those ladies are still praying for moms?  What a wonderful testimony of God’s love for us.  I am sad that I won’t be a mentor mom next year…BUT….I want you all to know that, like the moms before me, I will be praying for you and that I am just a phone call away.  I look forward to hearing from you about all of the wonderful things God will continue to do through you beautiful moms.  Keep up the good work, keep loving and encouraging each other, and keep it real.

Philippians 2:1-4

The Message (MSG)

1-4If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.

Lisa Neal
Mentor Mom

So, as we move into summer and a more relaxed schedule, I hope you all will lean on God and on each other for support.  I know many of you have play dates scheduled with your tables….mark your calendars and join in!  I am always refreshed after time with sweet friends.  Thank you all for helping make this a great year in MOPS.  I will miss seeing you all!  I am so thankful for each of you in my life and hope you will all be back next year.  I would like to also send out a special note of thanks to all of our Steering Moms, Mentor Moms, Table Leaders, Moppets Workers, and to Cori Weiler, and Kay Barker.  Such dedicated, talented Moms and leaders!  Please join me in thanking each of these ladies for a great year.

Finally, I hope you are all planning to attend our MOPS Family Fun Night and Early-bird Registration on May 23 from 5:00-7:00 pm.  Bring your families and your friends!  Please continue to pray for the three friends you felt might enjoy MOPS next year, and whom you would like to bring to this event.  I am looking forward to a fun night with family and friends!  I hope you all have a great summer with your little ones with plenty of time at the pool, enjoying family vacations, cookouts, popsicles, and some good ol’ fun in the Texas sun.  FBC Frisco MOPS 2011-2012 has truly been a great year!

Hebrews 10:25 “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (NIV)

See you on May 23!

Lots of love,

Taryn Crouch
2011-2013 Coordinator

I make plans for myself, not considering to seek what God has in store for me, then when the plans fail I become so upset. Even then, sometimes I don’t stop to think, “Hey, I wonder if this all failed because it wasn’t God’s desire for me.” Instead, I rely once again on my own thoughts and decision making skills, hoping that by chance this time it will work. I might even pat myself on the back for remembering that one saying: Doing what you have always done will get you what you have always got. (Or something like that – I am HORRIBLE with quotes!)

It’s sad how much of my life I have lived this way, and until recently, I found it easy to not hear God’s voice in things so I could avoid putting my trust in Him. And then I started going to a Bible study called “Discerning God’s Voice” by Priscilla Shirer. Wow – what an eye opener. You mean that not only does God speak to people, but that we should expect to hear from Him? That was a concept I had not considered before – no wonder I didn’t hear Him, I didn’t really believe that He would have anything to say to me! If you heard my testimony, you know that I have heard God speak to me before, very clearly. I think of that moment like a father comforting his daughter during a crisis, God was comforting me. I was open to hearing from Him because I so desperately needed it. Somewhere along the way, I stopped feeling that desperate need to hear from Him and decided to take control of my life. It wasn’t a conscious decision that I made one day, to no longer listen to God, it happened slowly as I chose to not seek His will in every circumstance that came up.
I use to wonder how the people in the Bible that would be right there witnessing the miracles that Jesus performed could walk away from that and continue to doubt, or continue to try to control their own lives without God’s guidance. When I look back on my life, I see how I did that same thing. Even after hearing God’s voice that day while sitting at the pond, I still went off and made some horrible choices. It can happen because we decide to take control, then we want to blame God for the outcomes of our own decisions. My personal reason was because I felt like I had nothing to offer and that God could never use someone like me for anything. I chose to believe Satan’s lie, and that was where I went horribly wrong.

The bottom line is, we are out of control without God – God is in control. A friend told me just this Monday that God is the one who holds our calendar, and he has things planned for us that we do not know. If we feel God leading us to do something, He has a reason as He knows our future. I am really working on letting go, and trusting, no, believing God. And, I want to pray with you if you are in the same boat.

Dear God – I come to you right now choosing to believe your word, choosing to give you control. I don’t know the plans you have for me, I only know that I want you to guide me. Help me to learn to trust your will for me, help me to seek your guidance in everyday things, so that when the big stuff happens, I know that you already know, and are already working it out for your glory. I want my first thoughts in the morning to be of you, and the last thoughts before I go to sleep at night. I want you to be my first love. God, I know that you want better things for me than I even want for myself, help me to remember that through the difficult times, through the times I start to have doubts. Thank you for the beautiful ways you do remind me of your presence, and help me to take notice of them more clearly. God, I pray for anyone reading this prayer that they will choose today to give over control to you as well, that they don’t waste one more second trying to figure it all out for themselves. Thank you God for your deep love for us that never fails, Amen.

Paige Scott, MOPS Member

Up until September 2010, my identity was mostly tied to my job. As bad as that sounds, I worked extremely hard to get a Ph.D and was very focused on my career.  I lived, breathed, and slept work. I admit, I was a workaholic and probably should of joined one of those Workaholic Anonymous groups. I loved my job and found great happiness in teaching and scholarship. Everyone told me before my daughter was born that motherhood would change me. I shrugged it off because I knew I could still do it all – plenty of moms work and have a child. About a month of experiencing mommyhood, I was deeply depressed. Mommyhood is hard, much harder than I thought. While I was in love with my daughter, I was also in love with my job. I wanted to get back to campus and in my regular routine.  Well, I went back to work and struggled the past year with balancing a family and a full time job. I have finally gotten to the point when I go to work, I work. I don’t chit chat, I don’t do lunch. I get my stuff done because I am on a limited amount of time before I pick up my daughter. Once I pick her up, I am in mommy mode. I don’t check emails, I don’t get on blackboard, I don’t make tomorrow’s to-do list; I just focus my attention on her. After our family dinner, bath and bed time routine, I take a shower to unwind then I go back and work. I try to work at night for a few hours (if it’s only to clean out emails) before I turn off the computer and spend the last hour before bed with my husband. After all, he deserves my attention just like my daughter and career does.

Being a working Christian mom is hard. You have to learn how to effectively manage your time and priorities. Here are some strategies that I have found helpful:

• Learn to Just Say “No” – as a mom it’s easy to get caught up saying yes to church and other social events. However, I have found that by being selective of my time I am able to enjoy the things I really care about. I can’t play bunko or have girls nights out anymore because it takes away time from my family. Every minute from 4-8 is special time with my family and I am committed to that time as family time. While social outings are good, for me I had to learn to sacrifice some “fun” things to have more quality time with my family.
• Forget trying to be the perfect mom– I used to spend a lot of my time making sure my daughter had her clothes perfectly ironed. Even though Downey wrinkle release is not as good as starch/iron, it is good enough to get wrinkles out.  It works and saves me time. Plus, who really cares if your toddler’s clothes are not ironed.
• Learn that being “Antisocial” is Okay – most of us are tied to our iphones,  facebook, and other forms of social media all the time. Since my daughter/mommy time is limited, I have stopped looking at facebook/checking my email, and being “on call” during our special “family” time.

Sarah McMahan, A Mommy, Wife and Ph.D.
2011.12 MOPS Member

Harvard Men’s Health Watch also notes that some recent studies have linked multivitamin use to prostate cancer.

The multivitamins that we take, and deem safe because they are on the shelves, should seriously be evaluated by each individual prior to taking them.  About a year ago, around the time that my son was a year old, I decided that I needed to become a bit healthier.  After visiting with a nutritionist, she suggested that I come off my prenatal vitamins and begin taking a whole food multivitamin.  Yes – I had never heard of them either!

After much research and speaking with my primary care physician, I learned how beneficial and how much healthier these multivitamins are!  Many of the conventional multivitamins that are on the shelf right now are not natural in the least bit, but are synthetic chemical isolates. Whole food multivitamins, rather, come from natural food sources!

Christine Dreher, Nutritionist, Herbalist, and author of ”The Cleanse Cookbook” has  quite a bit to say about whole foods and whole food vitamins,”Whole foods are our best source of nutrition and provide the most complete sources of vitamins and minerals. We are nourished by eating whole foods because they contain the necessary proteins, fats, carbohydrates, fiber, enzymes, vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, and other micronutrients that our body needs for proper nourishment and optimal health. Unfortunately, most of us do not eat enough variety of whole, nutrient-dense foods for proper nutrition levels. Instead, our modern diets include too many processed foods that provide sub-standard levels of nutrients. These days, dietary supplementation is often needed to provide our nutritional requirements for optimum health and energy. Supplements made from whole foods contain not only recognized vitamins and minerals, but a whole symphony of other micronutrients (phytonutrients or phytochemicals) that work in concert with vitamins and minerals to orchestrate a natural harmony in our bodies. More than 25,000 different micronutrients, also known as cofactors, have been discovered in whole fruits and vegetables alone. These micronutrients are still being studied, but what we do know is that they not only provide additional nutritional support, they also enhance the effectiveness and absorption of other nutrients contained in whole foods.”

Although I did not start taking these vitamins immediately, I have been taking the New Chapter Whole Food Multivitamin for nearly two months now and I am loving it!   I have a very severe iron intolerance and cannot take any artificial or synthesized iron, therefore, I was forced to increase the amount of iron in my diet to compensate.  This whole food multivitamin has 100% of my daily value of iron and it does not negatively impact my health! I am ecstatic!

Also, this specific brand of vitamin (as there are quite a few), is 100% organic!  New Chapter’s vitamins, minerals and herbs are a whole-food complex, so they are gentle on your stomach. So gentle that you can even take them on an empty stomach.

Take some time to research and see if these would be beneficial to you too!!

For 4 years I spent my days playing with my children and venturing out to the mall or a fast food restaurant to be among other adults and to have a reason to get dressed in the morning. I was not depressed by any means, but it was only a matter of time. Being alone is not how God intended us to spend our days. I didn’t call my other stay-at-home mom friends because I thought they were already busy or wouldn’t want me hanging around! I was just too shy to ask.

Last year I decided to join FBC Frisco MOPS. At the first meeting my thoughts were how awesome it was to be KID FREE and just enjoy adult conversation! I had the best time! Our meetings were so fun! I really enjoyed all the speakers and the crafts brought out my crafty side (which I didn’t think I had). Really, the most important aspect was that I was able to get out of the house and enjoy friendship with other moms. It couldn’t have come at a better time for me. Why had I waited so long to join MOPS?! I wished I had done it years before. It is amazing how much better you feel when you can share your thoughts and experiences with other moms. To find time for myself during a work day when my husband was gone was a treasure.

This year I decided to join the Steering Team. This has been a lifesaving outlet for me! I am a thinker by nature and the responsibility of Steering has made me feel purposeful and useful. At this time in my life my children are growing (a little too fast)! I no longer have a baby crawling around and bottles to make. They do not need the attention that they used to. In fact, they want less attention from me and more independent play time. For you moms who haven’t reached this stage yet, it is a blessing and a sad time all at once! My little babies are getting so big! Free time is a wonderful thing and I now have more of it throughout the day. I’m so glad that MOPS and Steering has been there to help me feel needed!

I am very excited to be a part of what is going on at MOPS! It truly is a ministry to women. I have seen many ladies come to our meeting who have just moved to town and do not know a soul. To these women MOPS is a lifesaver! They now have the opportunity to make friends, get out of the house, and provide playtime for their preschoolers! The messages we receive through speakers and devotions can be life changing! I know I have enjoyed and appreciated every inspirational word and encouraging story!

For those of you already involved in MOPS I’d love to hear what it is you have enjoyed most about the group. If you are contemplating joining us, I invite you to attend our first annual Family Fun Night on May 23^rd to come see what MOPS is all about! I’m so excited for our upcoming spring events and fun summer play dates! Thanks MOPS family for being such a blessing to me.

Lora Corcoran
FBC MOPS Member

Chloe: I like Booty and the Beast.

Noah: I don’t like it at all!

Chloe: Not even Booty?

Noah: I don’t like Booty.

It made me snicker, and grin, because I have never heard a guy say they don’t like “Booty” before.

All jokes aside, it gave me pause to consider for a moment all of these funny, sweet moments that really do fill the day. It occurred to me that we as moms can get too busy to appreciate these special times.

For the first few months of both of my kids births, I was in survival mode, and for different reasons each time. With Noah, he was my first child, and I experienced postpartum depression. I learned after a full month of struggling and trying to make breast-feeding happen, that I would simply never produce breast milk, even after a couple of visits to a lactation consultant, and trying everything she told me to do. I felt like I had failed as a mom, and he had only just been born. Then, my father in law also died before Noah turned 3 months old, and my in-laws and I had a very strained relationship at that time.

When Chloe was born I tried breast-feeding again, hoping it would be different, but it wasn’t. Once again, I felt like a failure, but this time I was at least prepared for that possibility. I found out that taking care of a brand new baby while chasing a potty-training 21 month old around was not for wimps. I don’t remember feeling like I could catch a breath until Chloe was about 18 months, and then she started wanting to potty train. Hadn’t I just gone through that? LOL

During these first years, people kept coming out of the woodwork telling me to soak up these moments, that you will look back on it and regret that you didn’t love it more. The majority of these comments came while I was loaded down like a pack mule with bags, napmats, artwork from the day, and my purse: all while trying to herd two small children out the door – both insisting on inspecting every blade of grass, or bug, or piece of trash that was on the ground on the way to the car. They wanted a lollipop, they had a shoe fall off, they were tired, and they were often crying/screaming all the way. Yes, these are the moments that people would remind me to soak it all up! Honestly, I thought they were crazy.

My kids aren’t too far out of this stage. No more napmats. They can (but usually try to avoid) carrying their own backpacks. My purse is still my responsibility but now I find little toys, cars, and hairbands in there. My friend Valerie admitted the other day to carrying around a bag of fake snow in her purse!

So, how do we get past the stress of the moments, and make awesome memories? I’m not an expert, I’m just a mom like you. I have failed on more than one occasion to soak up the daily events, but here are some things I have found that do work for my family.

1)      Set aside a special time for each child. This is ______’s time. Ask them what they want to spend that time doing. I have played princesses, read books, made special treats, played cars, dinosaurs, superheros. It doesn’t matter so much what it is, but that they are your focus at that time. If they don’t know what to do, turn on the music, and start dancing. Be silly! That is one of my favorites, because I want my kids to see that life should never get so difficult that we can’t smile, and have fun together.

2)      Tell your kids multiple times through each day that you love them. This doesn’t take too much time, but means the world to them.

3)      When you have some quiet time before bedtime, talk about their day. I am often surprised by the insights my kid share with me at night. Sometimes, they are stalling sleep, but in my opinion, an extra 5 minutes of talk doesn’t hurt anything, and could be vital to them working through something.

4)      Driving down the road is a great time to ask random questions, and is fun for everyone. “If you could be a cupcake, which flavor would you be?” “If you could do anything right now that you wanted to do, what would it be?” “What’s your favorite (insert book, show, craft, outdoor activity, etc..)?” My kids always turn it around on me and see what I would say, too.

5)      I had a  “jar of fun” available for rewards for potty training purposes, but is great for other things too. I made up tickets that had “Bubble Time” “Dress Up Party” “Playdate with Friend” “Moms Sous Chef” things like that. Once a reward was earned, they could draw from the jar, and the reward they chose would be what they got to do. These rewards were all things they enjoyed, and it was fun to plan it out with them.

6)      Go on picnics

7)      Mommy/child, Daddy/Child dates

8)      Try to make sure you aren’t overloading them with stuff. Sometimes we get carried away. We get too focused on getting the kids involved in a class that we forget it’s more important that they have time with us. Our rule right now is one activity at a time. Chloe chose musical theater class, and Noah chose Hip Hop class. When this semester is over, Noah said he wanted to go back to soccer. That’s fine with us, just not both at the same time. I feel that it’s important not to wear the kids out with activities, and wear ourselves out as chauffeurs.  This way, the time you spend together is quality time.

9)      Make sure to laugh. Kids are hilarious! And, they like to know we find them funny, but make sure they don’t think you are laughing AT them.

10)    Sometimes, when my kids are having a bad moment, I remind myself of their age. Example: Ok, so they thought I should look at this egg from the fridge. I told them to put it back in the fridge. They DID do what I said. It’s because he/she is three that they didn’t realize they shouldn’t push it back into the basket of eggs which broke half of the eggs in there. (This one makes me laugh now)

and since I apparently can’t limit myself to just 10…

11)   Try try try to get some “me” time in, and some “hubby” time too. We actually have to block out nights on the calendar for “me time”, “family time” or “couple time”, but it’s sacred! Don’t sacrifice that!

So, tell us! How do you cherish the moments with your kids!

I have been married, divorced and remarried.  I have had my share of pain and tears, but ultimately through it all, God has seeded himself deeper into every aspect of my heart.

In Genesis, God created man in his own image….and then created a woman out of his own flesh, as there was no suitable partner for him.

Adam, in response to God’s presentation of the woman was so overwhelmed that he proclaimed:

“This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh”

God made us to be united to another.

So, with this said, ask yourself this question,”How much time do I invest in my marriage on a daily, weekly, monthly or yearly basis to ENRICH its foundation?”

My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years now as we enter our late 30′s and have two very young children.  We try to find time to take a marriage enrichment course at least once a year – whether we are struggling or are in perfect harmony.  We are currently studying Sacred Marriage in our lifegroup and enrolled in a marriage enrichment course in another local church.

This question was recently posed to us, and although we attend these classes, we rarely take quality time to sit down, talk, discuss or even pray together. It is so easy to get caught up in life – the children – the day to day battles, that our marriages tend to get pushed to the back burner.

Marriage is a gift from God and one that we must constantly work on – in which we must be deliberate in our attempts to strengthen it.  As a victim of divorce, I must say that it is much too common and subsequently far too easy to divorce in our nation.  ”Irreconcilable differences” is a statement that we have come to hear in our everyday lives.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (1 Cor. 13:4-8a).

Love is at the root of any marriage, but after the initial flame begins to wither, we are called to do whatever it takes to keep the light burning bright.

So therefore, as society considers Valentine’s Day, I invoke a challenge to each of you that read this post.  Plan time and BE DELIBERATE in one action each day, no matter how small. Spice up the redundancy of life and of the daily routine.  It is so important, especially in today’s society, that we INVEST in our marriages.

Budget for a night out with ONLY your spouse AT LEAST twice a month and stick to it.

Jonathan and I have vowed to take each Monday night to ourselves.  This does not mean that we are having a date night each week.  It simply means that we have put on each of our personal calendars “Marriage Night.”  Most importantly, we have come to the understanding that with this time, we must learn to protect it at all costs.  Protecting your time means that nothing else can replace it.  Don’t let TV, a dinner date with friends, a telephone call….anything….disrupt that set time together.  It is THAT important!

So what does “Marriage Time” mean?

Simply…when the kids go to bed….the TV stays off and we do something together that involves conversation.

Here are some simple ideas that you may be able to do as well.  Feel free, also, to comment on this post with additional ideas.  Also, please take a moment to share this article with friends, family, Facebook, Twitter, etc.

* A Special Dinner

* Board Game

* Puzzle

* Wine by the Fire

* Reading a book together that has some substance to it

* A bible study

Effort and creativity are crucial to make this work.

Enrich your marriage with things to strengthen it.

Talk together – Laugh together – Nurture one another.

Colossians 3:23 says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart” – This includes your marriage as well.

Take this to heart! The last thing you want is the kids to move away when they are older and you have no idea who you are married to.

I hope this sheds light and inspires you to take this step as well.

It started when I went in for a routine, annual exam in mid July 2008 with my OB/GYN.  When my doctor was doing the breast exam, she found a lump in my left breast.  It felt like a marble.  I had not been doing regular self-breast exams, so I had no idea it was there.  She told me that since I was 40 years old, I needed to have a mammogram anyway, and for me to schedule one as soon as possible.

While waiting for the day of the mammogram to arrive, I was filled with anxiety, but tried to not worry too much since breast cancer does not run in my family.  No cancer does.  It has to be a cyst, I told myself, since I had had one in the past.  During the mammogram, I was praying to God that it wasn’t cancer.  They did 4 mammograms, and then made me wait, and then told me they wanted to do 4 more.  I was told to sit in a chair outside the room while the doctor looked at the mammogram images immediately.  Not long after, I was told that the doctor wanted me to have an ultrasound done.  Now, I was beginning to worry.  I will never forget the moment when the doctor doing the ultrasound told me that she actually saw 2 places of concern.  One looked like a non-cancerous mass, but the other, looked totally different, and looked cancerous.  They told me that I would need a biopsy to determine exactly what they were.  At that moment I was told not to worry…a cancer diagnosis is no longer a death sentence like in the past.  When caught early, it is highly treatable.   This didn’t seem to relax me at all.  The biopsy was painful and unpleasant, and I was very scared since I was fully awake as they did it, but not unbearable.

Two days later, I received a call on my cell phone while I was at my sister’s house.  They told me to sit down, and at that moment, I knew.  I was informed that one was definitely an adenoma, which was a non-cancerous mass.  The other however, was cancer.  My heart sunk in my chest, and I burst into tears.   I was referred to a breast surgeon.

I was scheduled for the Lumpectomy on Aug. 6, 2008, one week from the original date when I found out I had cancer.  What a crazy week I had endured with all the testing and doctor visits.  I was relieved that the surgery could be done so quickly.  Once I learned I had a cancerous tumor inside my body, I wanted it removed ASAP.  He explained that they would continue to remove tissue until the margins were clear, and that they would remove 1 or 2 lymph nodes to make sure it had not spread.  Those words scared me.  Spread?  Oh my gosh!  I had a son that was not even 1 ½, and a daughter about to turn 5.  My prayers were that it hadn’t spread.  I HAD to be alive for my children.  Dying was NOT an option.

The surgery took about 3 ½ hours, and was successful.  When I woke up from the anesthesia, I was so relieved to know that the cancer was no longer in my body.  I reached down to the bandages on my breast, and was relieved that my breast was still there.  I was worried that it might have been removed in the surgery.  I was also worried of what my breast looked like, and what it would look like after it healed.  I had a drain sticking out of my side, to drain the fluid that would be “oozing” from my body for about 10 days.  Luckily one of my friends is a nurse, and between her and my mom, I never had to “drain” it myself.

A couple of days later, I was called by the doctor and told that the Sentinel lymph node had one, microscopic “dot” on it that was cancerous, but the 2^nd node behind it was clear.  The doctor told me that even though it was tiny, it was recorded as “positive lymph node” even though it appeared it hadn’t spread.  He said it was literally like someone “dotted a lower case letter I”.  Normally, the node will have many cells on it, not just the one “dot”.  This news made me realize, that we had caught the cancer just as it was starting to spread.  Wow.  Praise the Lord.  He informed me that I would be coming in a couple of weeks later to have my chemo “port” surgically implanted at my collarbone, and while I was under anesthesia, he wanted to remove 10 more lymph nodes to make sure it hadn’t spread.  He told me that his medical training told him that if the 2^nd node was clear, then the nodes behind it would be clear…but since I was so young and had very young children, he wanted to make sure all the nodes were clear.  I agreed with him.  Whether or not they were clear would determine my treatment.

My 2^nd surgery was done on August 26, 2008, almost 3 weeks after the first one.  The idea of the chemo port freaked me out, knowing it was implanted under my skin, and would be the means of allowing the harsh chemo drugs into my body. The port is used due to the power of the chemo drugs.  If it were just done with a standard IV, the veins would be destroyed by the chemo, and burn marks could also appear on the skin.  The port was definitely the way to go.  It was routed through my veins and you could see it under my skin at my neck and collarbone, which was creepy to me, but necessary.  The results from having the 10 extra lymph nodes removed were clear.  Great news!  The cancer had definitely not spread!  Again, praise the Lord!

(During this time I also had the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genetic testing done, to see if my cancer was genetic.  I am very grateful that it was NOT.  They checked for 2 chromosomal abnormalities, and both results were negative.  This means I did not pass anything down to my children.)

After giving me a few weeks to recover from the surgeries, I started my first chemo cycle on Sept. 26, 2008.  I was in tears that day, knowing this was the beginning of the brutal treatment, to kill any remaining cells that might be in my body, but undetected by the testing

It took about 2 ½ hours to get the chemo.  Each cycle was followed by a shot the next day, to raise my red/white blood count.  The chemo lowers everything, and the shot gets them back to a more normal level.  The combination of the chemo and the shot caused severe side effects.  There were days I just wanted to die, it was that bad.  No energy to even drink water, no appetite, nausea, pain, etc.  It would take about a week to get over it, and I’d still be weak and about the time I got over it, it was time to get it again.  There were days that I wasn’t sure I would be able to continue with the treatment, but just took it all one day at a time.  My kids gave me the strength to get through all of side effects.  It only takes one cycle of chemo to make you lose your hair, which happens on about day 15.  That is a shocker, especially to a woman, to have your hair fall out.  After seeing patches of my hair come out, leaving bald spots on my head, my mother shaved my whole head.  To try to lighten the moment in which we were both in tears, we gave me a “Mohawk” before completely saving me bald.  That picture is one that only a handful of people have seen!  What a sight that was.

I had already picked out my wig, one that looked much like my normal hair, before chemo started.  As soon as we shaved my head, I put on the wig and realized that within just a few seconds, I could appear fairly “normal” again. This helped with the issue of being bald, but I cried many tears over losing my hair.  I will never complain of a “bad hair day” again.  A true bad hair day is when you don’t have any hair!  The only good thing about chemo?  You don’t have to shave (anywhere!) for the whole time you get chemo!  I saved on razors and shampoo!

With my faith as my strength, I got through all 6 chemo cycles, the last one being on January 6, 2009.  I was allowed to recover for about 30 days before starting radiation.  Luckily, the radiation doesn’t have any side effects, like the chemo does.  I started radiation in February 2009, and received a total of 33 daily treatments.  The only side effect I had was looking like my breast was really sunburned at about week 4, but after chemo, radiation was a breeze.

April 2, 2009 I received my last radiation, and received a certificate of completed treatment from the nice ladies at Texas Oncology.  What a great feeling!  I felt like I could start to get on with my life, finally.  Looking back, it was so hard to go through, but doing it just one day at a time made it all possible.

I was still wearing my wig, since my hair hadn’t grown back.  Once it started growing back in, a couple of months later, I quit wearing the wig.  My hair was still extremely short, but at that point I was just so excited to have hair again!  And, it was very hot to wear the wig, so it was getting uncomfortable.  My daughter, who was 5 at this time, would kiss my bald head every day, and when my hair started growing back in, she told me every day “Mommy, you have more hair today than you did yesterday!”  It made me cry every time she told me.

I have thought about where I would be now if it hadn’t been caught when it was, or if I would be here.  Breast cancer is highly treatable when caught in early stages.  I am living proof of how early detection is the key to survival.  If mine would have been found just a year later, I am afraid my outcome would have been different, since we caught it just as it was about to spread.

I have heard many women say that they aren’t 40 yet, or there isn’t any cancer in their family, or that they are scared to get a mammogram as reasons for not getting one.  It’s not a correct statement to say “What I don’t know won’t hurt me.”  What you don’t know can kill you.  At the age of 40 I was diagnosed with a 2.4cm cancerous tumor, with no history of cancer in my family.  The doctor told me it had been growing for 3-5 years.  Sometimes, mammograms aren’t done for 6 months after you breastfeed, and I had just quit breastfeeding my son 3 months before diagnosis.  Don’t let this stop you from getting one.  There are women in their 20’s and 30’s with no history that are diagnosed with it.  If my story can cause just one woman to go get a mammogram, and her life is saved, then everything I endured was well worth it.

Today, I have been cancer free for 3 ½ years now.  I continue to get blood work and mammograms done every 6 months.  This will continue until I get to 5 years, and then I will just go once a year, like normal.  I feel great, and feel normal, just like this never happened.

I will never know why this happened to me, but in a way I feel blessed to have been given this diagnosis.  It gave me the chance to make some changes in my personal life that were necessary in order to live a happy life.  When you see how quickly your life can be taken away, it makes you want to live every day the best way possible, and as happy as possible.  On a lighter note, I learned that hair does grow back!

Philippians 4:13  “I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me.”

Lori Ross
FBC MOPS Member

In order to bless our kids and model Christlikeness to them, we can cultivate a grace-based atmosphere in our homes. We can offer grace-based consequences in the place of harsh condemnation. The Pharisees, elders and scribes loved to grant Jesus the opportunity to condemn people, but He didn’t. When a person entered into the presence of Jesus, that was a “grace place.”

How much effort are you putting into making your home a “grace place” for your kids?

I’ll admit that offering grace is not always fun or easy. Being “fair,” offering judgment, condemning others for their faults, and clinging to grudges can be much easier than gifting others with the blessing of forgiveness.

Alexander Pope wrote, “To err is human; to forgive, divine.”[i][i] Because we’re flawed humans, grace and forgiveness don’t flow naturally from our fleshly spirits. These attributes are divine gifts, showered upon us like a refreshing spring rain from the Author of life.

For me, on most days, grace looks like patience. It’s offering a loving gesture and a kind word to my kids when I feel like screaming instead. It’s scrubbing mashed banana and cereal bars out of the carpet without harping, “How many times do I have to tell you not to eat in the living room?” My friend Caryn said that she prays throughout the day, “God, be my patience.” Now I often find myself praying that, too.

We can offer grace and forgiveness to our children because we’ve been offered grace and forgiveness. We love because God first loved us. First John 4:10 says, “In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” We can “take every thought (and word) captive to the obedience of Christ,” knowing that the struggles of this life will not last forever.

In her excellent book “52 Things Kids Need from a Mom,” author Angela Thomas offers several fun and practical tips for making your home a place of grace and forgiveness. Here are some of them:

• Let your kids see you praying every day. Even better, let them join you.
• Be sure to touch each of your children each day—a brush on the shoulder, a hug, a pat on the back before school, a kiss goodnight.
• Give specific compliments and praise.
• Prioritize sitting down together for dinner as a family.
• Set boundaries and be consistent about discipline. Play the “MOM” card (say “no”) when you have to.
• Keep your promises. If your plans change, communicate that to your children.
• Involve your children in giving to people who are less fortunate than your family.
• Choose your battles; don’t point out every one of your children’s flaws. Miss a few things they do wrong. Exhibit the character of Christ and allow room for grace. Be a peacemaker instead of a perfectionist.
• Occasionally be a “supermom” and go all out for them. Plan a special surprise, a big birthday party, or something else over-the-top to communicate to them, “I think you’re awesome!”
• Talk to them and listen to them as though they are fascinating people; they are!
• Make a big deal out of God. Show them that God is #1 in your house. Be “doers of the Word and not hearers only” (James 1:22).
• Let them make dumb mistakes without condemnation.
• Introduce them to your best friend, Jesus.[ii][ii]

More than anything else in this world, our children need grace. I believe when our sons and daughters look back over the arc of their lives, their relationship with us will be influenced most by this: whether or not we were moms who modeled grace instead of grudges.